Book Project: Female Infidelity in the United States

Infidelity is titillating and sometimes—when celebrities or politicians are involved—considered news-worthy. It is also relatively common: over 50% of both men and women in the United States admit to having been unfaithful at some point in their lives.

However, while men and women appear almost equally likely to have affairs (and to want to have affairs), the over-whelming sentiment in the public imaginary is that men cheat and women don’t.

It is with this in mind that I am gathering testimony for a book on women’s infidelity in the United States: why we cheat, how we cheat, and what it says about our sexuality, status in society, and sense of self.

I am hoping to gather interviews from women who have stepped out or are stepping out on the agreement they have with a long-term partner. I also want to talk to women who have wanted to step out but decided not to. I am not looking at this from a moral perspective (what people "should" or "should not" do, generally). I am interested in infidelity as relative to each relationship: when, why, and how do women break the intimacy contract they have with their partner, and how did that contract get negotiated in the first place.

Send a note to [female (dot) infidelity (at) gmail (dot) com] if you want to participate.

I will need your name, age, phone-number, email-address, and a short paragraph on why you want to be part of this project. The project is not about the sex but rather about how the affair(s) fitted into your life. So, you should be comfortable talking about emotions, but no need to talk about the naked bits. All interviews will be treated in absolute confidentiality, and I will not use your real name in the book. I will not call you unless we've agreed on a time that works for you, and I will not contact you in any other way than what we've agreed between us.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

P.S. I’m sure I’ll get tricksters and people making up stories. And if your story is plausible, sure, I’ll probably fall for it.  But whatever you can make up that appears to be true is part of how you think about infidelity anyway. And that’s what I am hoping to document.

P.P.S. "Cheating", "affair", "unfaithful", and "infidelity" are the words we use about breaking intimacy contracts, for better or for worse. I am interested in how you feel about those words too.

Comments

[Aitch CS]

I hope to hear more about your project as I am highly interesting in this topic for a Docu. film.